"Have darkness ... Will travel"
I was tempted to title this "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House", playing off the theme we ran with yesterday.But that was a comedy, and Jim Blandings (played by Gary Grant; Mrs. Blandings, the...
View ArticleIt's Here! ... Baseball and The Garlic's Infamous Essay!
The smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the crowd ...Oh, sorry, wrong medium ...It's Batter Up! and Play Ball!
View ArticleIt's Now Dirt Nap Time In America
Legendary Ad Man Hal Riney died last week.One of the more celebrated creatives that made his mark, helping to create, and coming out of, the boon of the 1960's, to usher in a new mode of operation for...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Excuses Hillary Clinton Is Giving For Not Paying Her Campaign...
News Item: Clinton's new campaign motto: BYO
View ArticleA Little Yoo Wop
Something this big needs some music.It's not every day, we finally get documents released, that detail the war criminality of the Bush Grindhouse, and one of their star players, John "Torture Sounds...
View ArticleNo Doubt, Lou Dobbs Will Go Absolut-ely Apocalyptic
If I were in the predictions game, I might go out, on a very short limb, and say Lou Dobbs will soon be calling for a boycott of Absolut Vodka.The Right Wing Freakshow is all atwitter today, with an ad...
View ArticleBreaking News! MLK, Posthumously, Pardons McCain
It's absolutely astounding the the McCain Campaign was able to keep the lid on such breathtaking news.I mean, with all the media digging (wink, wink), the 24/7 news cycles, the rocking-and-rolling...
View ArticleAmbassador Crocker Meets Eddie Izzard
Or, "The Lord almighty came down and sat in the middle of the table there and said ‘Mr. Ambassador you can eliminate every Al Qaeda source in Afghanistan and Pakistan, or every Al Qaeda personnel in...
View ArticleStart Your Katie Deathwatches!
Boy, a whole bunch of celebrity blogs and websites must be busy little bees today.There's so much to do.Whole new slates of graphics ... The Death Clocks and Counters have to be put together ......
View Article"He is Iraq's Katrina itself"
Just as New Orleans's Ninth War will still be a moonscape when Bush goes out of office, so will Iraq. Sadly, it's looking less, and less, likely that we will see him exit the White House, handcuffed,...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Things About The Rocket Scientists' Party, Yuri Night
News Item: Fisher: Party like a rocket scientist (It'll be fun)
View ArticleObama Minister Wants To Nuke Small Towns!
Give it another day, or two, and we'll probably see this headline somewhere, the odds-on bet, on Faux News...Or, the Right Wing Freakshow will serve this up, with extra, extra spicing, over the radio...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Barry Crimmins Is Giving Away The Store!
Okay, a slight exaggeration, but Barry Crimmins is offering free - absolutely no strings - his first recording "Kill The Messenger", to any-and-all, for the downloading.Recorded in 1991, this has...
View ArticleMcCain's Foodgate ... The Gift Keeps Giving ...
What did he eat and when did he eat it?And, while he is committed, fiercely, to not torturing Americans, is giving them a meal from the McCain Family Recipe crossing that legal line?This is just too...
View ArticleKnow Thy Pope
I'm having a hard time finding it, but I could have sworn I heard someone - recently - refer to Pope Benedict as "the Vatican's Cheney".It's quite likely this post will draw the wrath of the perpetual...
View ArticleCharlie and George Go To A Debate ...
Just a little follow-up on the debate last evening ...Charlie and George ...Not quite in the same league, but, after the outrage (and disappointment) an equal amount of laughs could be had, as if the...
View ArticleEmpty Suits ... “I felt we’d been hosed" ...
Power comes from lying ... Lying big and getting the whole damn world to play along with you ... Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you get them by the...
View ArticleMcCain Waves The POW Flag
Since you are the odd-on favorite at this point, to win the nomination, all I have to say is Watch Out, Barack Obama!You start hitting Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain too hard, or with facts, or just...
View ArticleYou Say Lapel Pins ... I Say Lunatics...
Enough of this childish, little, small-minded pettiness.Screw these tiny Lapel Flag Pins!I want to see the candidates, and every blowhard, Fox News, Right Wing Freak Show, and their Flying Monkeys,...
View ArticleWolcott: Nixon in a pantsuit
Last month, The Village Voice gave us a look at the Right-Wing Blogosphere ("A confederacy of dunces", along with their headshots from Tom Tomorrow).This month (actually, for the June issue), in Vanity...
View ArticleDing Ho Reunion For Laz
For those of you local to Boston and Greater Boston, there's a good deal coming Sunday and Monday that you should make an effort to attend.It's a Ding Ho Reunion, to benefit comedian Bob Lazarus, who...
View ArticleSweet Mother
It's not exactly a secret what jingoistic, unpatriotic cretins the Republican Congress is, be it the streamlining of the Bush Grindhouse lawbreaking, the crocodile tears of John Boehner, and not to...
View ArticleIt's Time To Bring Down Rollo Tomasi
Well, as you know, I was stuck in Computer Hell for a good chunk of the day, and the whole time, this doozy of a story was dancing in my head.Fans of the most-excellent movie, "L.A. Confidential", you...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Reasons U.S. Military Used Koran For Target Practice
News Item: U.S. soldier in Iraq used Koran for target practice
View ArticleAnd One More For The Road ...
I was momentarily stunned early last evening, watching 'Hardball', which was, essentially, aside from the Ted Kennedy homage's, a pre-primary returns talkfest, when MSNBC's Chuck Todd (the numbers...
View Article"Back, and to the Left ... Back, and to the Left ..."
One flew east, one flew west And one flew over the cuckoo's nest. Well we wrote it, a while back ...Hillary Clinton is smelling burning rubber!We had a running inside joke, a former girlfriend and I,...
View ArticleShe Was The One She Was Waiting For ...
It occurred to me, after our post last evening ("Back, and to the Left ... Back, and to the Left") the implosion of Hillary Clinton, the incredible irony of it all.By her own, twisted, dark,...
View ArticleBrother, Can You Spare A Photo?
An admirable endeavor, in a life already overflowing with admirable endeavors, by Barry Crimmins is getting off to a slow start.Crimmins photo project: Picture this
View ArticleThe Most Fabulous Object In The World
Not too many have noticed, as it has been going on for some time.And, no doubt, following yesterday's Rule and Bylaw Committee resolution to the Florida-Michigan kurfluffle, we'll continue to get more,...
View ArticleMade It Ma, Top of the Campaign! ...
Or, Hillary Clinton's Cody Jarrett MomentMy, My, My ...The theatrics, the anguish, it's taking to end this thingThe Most Fabulous Object In The World (TMFOITW), according to the breaking news over the...
View ArticleDeveloping Story - MSNBC Making Pitches To Become Eulogy Channel
Sources tell The Garlic that executives at NBC and MSNBC, buoyed by, surprisingly, extremely strong overnight ratings, have quickly put together a crack team of producers and advertising salespeople...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Other Ways Ralph Nader Could Have Made News Today
News Item: Nader: Obama 'talking white'
View ArticleYoo's Crossing
I hope, that journalists around the world, are on their toes, tonight, and over the next few days.Especially those stationed, and working, in Iraq, Guantanamo, Poland, Thailand, and wherever the Bush...
View ArticleRice Audtioning For New Role of Aricept Spokesperson
As far as legacies go, I guess, you go with the one ya brung ...And Condi Rice has a death grip on hers, and her work husband, The Commander Guy
View ArticleDon't Be A McCain ... Enjoy The All Star Game Tonight!
It's history tonight, the last Major League Baseball All Star game in old Yankee StadiumYes, we are performing our tri-annual public service, of assisting you in making your baseball viewing much more...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Things Joe Scarborough Likes To Eat and Wear When Sitting At...
News Item: Scarborough Defends McCain, Criticizes Bloggers ‘Eating Cheetos’ In Their ‘Underwear’
View ArticleRetro Garlic: Bush Is Batman? ... Holy Batshit!
I, perhaps, must first disclose that I haven't rushed out to be part of the record-breaking box office for the new 'Brokeback Batman' errr, 'The Dark Knight' movie.
View ArticleSix Degrees of John McCain - From Obama's "Energy Policy" To McCain's Media...
Or; McCain, Republicans Riding On Their Spare DonutWell, again, as we have previously noted, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain did put out the call for more humor in his campaign.Little did we know it...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Things Condoleezza Rice Has Threatened Russia With To Honor...
News Item: Rice: Military power is "not the way to deal in the 21st century"
View ArticleBreaking! Obama VP Call Delayed - Piece of Paper With Name Lost
Sources tell The Garlic that the announcement of Barack Obama's vice president has been delayed, indefinitely, as chaos consumes Obama Headquarters in Chicago, searching for the piece of paper Obama...
View ArticleThank God! ... It's Ordinary Joe!
No doubt, the ratings for those late night infomercials took a big hit.Billy Mays' wallet will be a little lighter this week.I'll be interested to hear what the strategy of dropping the news at around...
View ArticleMcCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel...
Sources tell The Garlic today, that the staff of Senator John McCain was so confused over the choice of his Vice Presidential pick, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, that they had mistakenly flown...
View ArticleThe 1,001 Points of Light
Leave it to the Republicans, and Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, at time with the worst President sitting in the White House, in a year, from the Presidential race, to down-ticket, is expected, due to...
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Ways Charlie Gibson Can Screw Up Interview With Sarah Palin
News Item: What To Expect From The Palin Interview
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Names Considered To Rename Wall Street
As part of the government's pending, unprecedented, massive, enormous bailout of Wall Street, a component of the proposed plans include the renaming of Wall Street, to commemorate the crisis.
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Reasons Sarah Palin Is Preparing For Debate Outdoors
News Item: Palin Seeks Serenity in Sedona
View ArticleTop Ten Cloves: Other Books Hugh Hewitt Can Write About Election
News Item: SCHADENFREUDE WATCH: HEWITT EDITION...
View ArticleBarry Crimmins Alert: Strap Nancy Pelosi To A Table and Ship Her Out!...
It's been one of our most fervent wishes the past two-years, that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is plagued by nightmares.A Tim-Burton-on-acid-meets-Disney-type nightmare, of being trapped in a...
View ArticleBoston Comedy ... Funny Grown Here
That's the new Weblog of Nick Zaino, intrepid writer, reporter, and chronicler of all things Stand-up Comedy.Nick was the long-time beat reporter for The Boston Globe (as well as other publications),...
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